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The end [09 May 2006|12:01pm] [ mood | Shattered ] [ music | James Blunt - Goodbye my lover ] As some of you might be aware, Tani and I have been having problems this year and a couple of days ago we agreed to have a two month trial separation. We'd only been separated a couple of days when it became apparent that the relationship wasn't going to be able to be saved. It wasn't that either of us had done anything wrong, there was no betrayal, it was just that although we loved each other we weren't in love anymore. So it's over. Some explanation - Although we loved each other fiercely we were never that compatible in bed. The sex itself was fantastic but her sex drive is much higher than mine and I could never give her what she really needed. Also, since around the beginning of the year I've been suffering from depression. I resisted seeing a doctor until recently because I was so ashamed and in that time my behavior damaged the relationship. When we first got together, almost five years ago, we were very different people, Tani more so than myself. Back then we were very insular, we didn't have many friends, we were each other's whole worlds. As the years passed Tani has become much more social but I haven't. She felt an awful sense of responsibility for me because she meant so much to me and that stifled her when she wanted to be carefree and social. We are best friends and we hope to stay that way but so much has changed and I don't know what's going to happen. For a long time, years before I proposed, I believed that I would spend the rest of my life with Tani, that we would have two kids and grow old together. I believed this as completely and absolutely as I believed that the earth was round and that the sun would rise in the east each day, because I was in love. To have a belief that strong proven wrong is the most shattering and humiliating thing that has ever happened to me, and I'm still in shock at the moment. It's only just starting to hit me now. The life that I envisaged for myself is no longer a possibility. The future - I've deferred from uni until the start of next year to give me some time to deal with my depression. Within the next few weeks I plan to move out and go back to full time work at the bus factory in Caloundra. Instead of getting a new place I'm going to camp and live out of my car and just come back here on the weekend to wash my clothes, that way I should be able to save about four hundred dollars a week. After I've got a few months of good looking payslips I'm going to try and get a loan to buy a motorhome. I'll be looking for something pretty nice, a coaster or a small winnebago for around thirty thousand dollars. It's going to be my home, I'll always have somewhere to live and I'll be free to go where I please. I plan to travel. Beyond that I don't have any plans, I now have no idea what my life is going to be. Although I'm not going to be around much anymore I want to stay in contact with everyone. I have some wonderful friends and I don't want to lose touch. I have a natural tendency to drift into reclusivness so please don't let me guys. 17 votes| Vote

Winnah! [29 Mar 2006|09:52pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Redgum - I was only 19 ] Today I went to work... and I KICKED ASS :) 16 hours worth of work completed in 9 hours, nice. My reward for this awesomeness was to reach the red rd. bridge, near Beerwah, southbound on the Bruce Highway to find the traffic jam from hell. Apparently a bus caught fire near the Beerwah exit so the highway was completely blocked. I reclined on the bonnet for about half an hour, confident that things would soon be moving again, when a fire truck drove cautiously past. It was followed police driving incautiously. Half an hour in and they hadn't even started. At that point I got the shits and joined the steady stream of small 4wd's getting dirty for the first time. 10 minutes and one wild ride through the mud later I was back on the Bruce. All in all, a pretty good day. Vote

TMI, sort of... [27 Mar 2006|08:48pm] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | 10CC - Rubber Bullets ] wOOt! After 6 years of constant infections and countless teaspoons of oozing, stinking, cheesy crap I'm finally going to get my tonsils out. On the 3rd of July in fact. I have my grandparents to thank for that, without them buying me some private health cover I never would've been able to afford it. Thanks guys! I'm really looking foward to it even though I'll be miserable for 2 weeks afterwards. Everyone I know who's had it done was almost a different person afterwards. Apparently the cheesy shit that comes out of the tonsils has a mild toxic effect on your body, it gives you a kind of constant, low-grade lethargy. And in other news, Harry (who is kinda sorta my defacto father) got bitten on the balls by a white tail spider! No shit, the kind that makes your flesh rot off. I freaked when I heard, but he was ok enough to crack sick jokes about it so I guess I shouldn't be too worried. Although he did get the flesh rot happening so I don't know :\ He doesn't exactly have a good record of taking care of himself. He had a stroke recently and point blank refused to go to hospital because they would have taken his licence off him. He just sat in bed and took aspirin for weeks until he could walk properly again. 4 votes| Vote

Wheee! [27 Nov 2005|05:11pm] [ mood | excited ] [ music | Bodyjar - Not the same ] Kids love big storms, and kids love big puddles. Sometimes the two combine and kids get to jump and splash around in extra large storm puddles. Time passes, however, and those kids grow up. Most of them put away childish things when they take on the mantle of adulthood, but some of them... Some of them get a pintara, find a puddle that's over 1/2 a metre deep, and a very steep hill for run-up then bring it all together at 80 kilometres an hour. We just had two powerful storms come through in the space of an hour. I didn't go out after the first one but when the second one came along I just had to get stuck into it before the drains cleared. Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the main event (seriously, it was like... THIS BIG!), but Tani got some photos of me racing off with childish glee. ( Photos Here ) I also noticed an impromptu river spring up in the backyard, the result of which was some flooding. The neighbour didn't seem worried, however, apparently it can get up to waist depth here sometimes. 5 votes| Vote

General musings [25 Nov 2005|04:26pm] [ mood | pensive ] [ music | Rolling Stones - Time is on my side ] I had my last day at work for the year on Wednesday, my last day of civilian work anyway. There's a new guy that started last week and I've been helping to train him. That in itself is pretty trippy. I still tend to think of myself as the bottom rung, the shitkicker. It wasn't until I had to train Damian that I realised how far I've come. Anyway, I showed Damian a few things last week and he was okay, it was mostly simple stuff and he wasn't great but I shrugged it off as nerves. I was terrified when I started there and I sucked pretty badly too. This week I had to show him how to fab emergency exit doors. It's not the hardest job but it's more advanced and it has to very accurate. I did one with him watching and explained it, then I set him up with the next one. Almost an hour later he was still measuring up. I kept helping him along but he just couldn't get it, he couldn't see it in his head. I was beginning to realise that he must have some kind of learning disorder, probably with maths. It really cut me up because he's the nicest guy you could ever meet. I remember my first cabinet assembly job, I had to glue and nail together simple pelmets to go around curtain rods. I had no idea what they were or how they worked and I just couldn't picture them in my head. The result was that I was dreadful at it and got fired after two weeks. That was one of the most humiliating times of my life but since then I've learnt a huge amount, gained a huge amount of confidence. Mastering that learning curve has been one of the most satisfying things I've ever done. It occurred to me that Damian will probably never experience that. It's just so arbitrary, it really bothers me. On top of that Bill and Dave, the senior interior workers, kept pushing me to give an opinion of his potential. I avoided the question for as long as possible. I couldn't lie but I sure as hell didn't want to tell the truth, Why the fuck do I have to be the executioner? So that gave me plenty to think about. 1 vote| Vote

[02 Nov 2005|09:57pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | The hungry cat wail ] I have wankers cramp and I didn't even get my rocks off. That's just too unfair. :( I was at work today and I spent half the day squeezing tin snips above my head. Most of the buses we do have nice, $1000 per roll trim cloth for the ceiling and walls but some idiot keeps ordering buses with the optional 'poverty pack' which includes laminate and vinyl all over. Thus I spend my time cutting light holes in laminate ceilings. I shudder to think why anyone would need a bus you can hose out. At the end of the month I'll be heading off to army recruit training for six weeks, army reserves that is. They're refusing to tell me whether I'll be coming home for christmas or not, I'm guessing no at this stage. There's a guy I met at uni who's already been through and he's been telling me eye-widening stories about boot camp. I have no ideas if this is true or if he's yanking my chain but apparently at some point during the training the instructors 'invade' the barracks about 2 or 3 in the morning. They throw flash-bang and smoke grenades everywhere and run through the resulting explosions brandishing weapons and screaming FIX BAYONETS, THE JIHADIS ARE COMING. You then have to run down to the bayonet course and stab sacks of hay painted to resemble humans while screaming KILL KILL KILL! I'm still more curious than I am nervous though. I'm interested to see what effect this sort of brainwashing has on me. I guess if I come back and feel the urge to kill things and vote Liberal I'll know it worked. 3 votes| Vote

Yard work [31 Oct 2005|10:28pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | Tinnitus ] ...is hard. Cheers to Vix for the help though. I spent today cleaning up the lawn and garden, ready for the inspection tomorrow. Beefy brush-cutters are fantastic stress relief! I was very careful to keep a hat on all day and am now enjoying my nicely unburnt face as I rub lotion into my badly sunburnt arms. >_<9 It's not very often I do yard work but when I do I pile the grass clipping in the corner of the backyard. The pile was getting pretty impressive too, you could see it from space on google earth. Well today I got a trailer and Vix and I took it to the tip. Apparently there were 180 kilos of grass clippings! I'm not sure whether I'm more proud of my hard work or the resulting pile of crud. Oh well, either way... \^_^/ 2 votes| Vote

This is a special announcement [27 Oct 2005|03:56pm] [ mood | surprised ] [ music | Orwellian public announcements ] *Heraldic Trumpeting Noise* "This is a Brisbane City Council special announcement. The water supply in your street will be temporarily interrupted due to maintenance. We apologize for any inconveniance." A council ute just drove down the street with this coming out of a loudspeaker. I thought that only ever happened in the movies? The funny thing about it is that at the top of the street there is a council truck, an excavator and a large hole with about 50 litres a minute of water flowing out of it and off down the street. Maintenance my arse, you guys broke the pipe didn't you... 4 votes| Vote

[24 Oct 2005|10:45pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Tchaikovsky - 1812 overture. ] Your IQ Is 125 Your Logical Intelligence is Below Average Your Verbal Intelligence is Genius Your Mathematical Intelligence is Exceptional Your General Knowledge is Exceptional A Quick and Dirty IQ Test wOOt! I'm totally smarter than you, Tani. I'd be able to prove it but I make less than half your wage so I can't afford a proper test. :P 7 votes| Vote

I'm Back. [22 Oct 2005|06:02pm] [ mood | predatory ] [ music | Gentle hum of the air con. ] It's time I started using this journal again, too much cool shit happens not to write it down. Tani bought a skirt on ebay recently and after receiving the money (just over $20) the seller promptly disappeared. Ebay sent us her phone number but the phone was disconnected. We looked up the name in the white pages and matched it with the phone number to get an address. The address turned out to be in Morayfield which is just north of here. We drove up to see her and there was a girl at the house who said she'd lived there for 9 months but didn't know the girl we were talking about. At this point it was clear we'd been ripped off but I didn't know if it was by the girl at the house or someone else. It was pissing me off all the way home. I know it's only $20 but I hate thieves with such a passion... The girl at the house smirked in this weird way too, I'm sure it was her. I've decided to send a registered letter to the seller at that address. You have to show I.D to pick it up and I'll get confirmation of pick up, so if it's her and she has any curiosity at all, I'll find out. The only quetion then is what to do... The police wouldn't give a rats arse about a $20 fraud so I guess I'm reduced to thumbing through the anarchists cookbook... >:D 6 votes| Vote

House Hunting [27 Nov 2004|05:39pm] [ mood | lethargic ] Eh, Sometime after September the earth must pass close so some sort of time eating black hole. I couldn't wait for the year to end and now I havn't got enough weekends left to do everything in. We spent today looking for a house in Brissie. There was some reasonable talent around but we were drawn to one old Queenslander in Norman Park in particular. Unfortuneately so was everyone else in Southern Brisbane. In fact there were three other applications placed just from the people who were taken through the house with us. They all rocked up in sleek new cars, obviously earning craploads more than Tani and I too. I'm going to have to unleash my secret weapon. I noticed when I went through that there was an old kitchenette and bathroom under the main house. They're kind of half-renovated but they still have all the shitty old cabinets. So I'm going to write a letter to the owner, to go with the application, and offer to rip out the old stuff, design and build some new stuff and install it for just the materials cost. Hopefully that'll be enough to get us over the line. The house itself is fairly small but it's really cute. It's three bedroom and it's up on poles with plenty of work space underneath. There's a back deck, shaded by the big trees in the backyard, and a front verandah that has awesome views of the the whole city CBD. Best of all it's ten minutes from the city, twenty minutes from the Uni I'll be going to and about a hundred metres from the train station, in a quiet street. ;) I found a job for next year while I'm at Uni! I asked the boss if I could stay on as a casual doing one ten hour day a week. He was quite enthusiastic, so no more flogging petrol and chocolate to naked boys at 3a.m. at the Caltex (Long story). Tani says to mention that we bought a christmas tree, but we still need decoradations. (Yes, that's exactly what she said ;) And in the news lately: Bridge For Sale - Police in the Northern Territory are investigating the theft of a ten tonne, twenty metre long railway bridge. Apparantly the thieves were armed with generators, oxy-acetelene welders, a large crane and several semi-trailers. The thieves appear to have cut the bridge off at the top of he pylons and moved it away in sections. There were no witnesses and police currently have no leads. 5 votes| Vote

[25 Oct 2004|09:14pm] [ mood | predatory ] I went out for chocolate and some miserable, thieving bastard sniped me out of my leopard print futon on Ebay. This means war. 5 votes| Vote

Be gentle with me.. it's my first time ;) [25 Oct 2004|04:31pm] [ mood | accomplished ] Finally... I had to ship Tani off to her mother's to get an uninterrupted afternoon on the computer but it happened. I'm still a bit wary of this whole public journal idea. I guess I saw too many people write angry letters when I was young. I've seen shit that people wrote when they were young, dumb and angry turn up in court five years down the track. You can really screw yourself badly by putting the wrong thing on paper (or the web). Not that I'll be writing anything too incriminating here, though I have a fairly loose sense of the incriminating. ;) The last couple of days I've been busy doing some serious spending. Fridge, dryer, queen mattress, air con, vcr, microwave and a few other things. Tani's just introduced me to Ebay. Left me with her name and password in fact, and I've repaid her faith in me by bidding on a fluoro orange, leopard print futon.... She's going to kill me. But, dammit, I love that futon! Work's been interesting lately. For anyone who doesn't know, I work in bus factory. It's mostly fibreglass and sheetmetal tradesman, which is actually not too bad. Compared to these guys, cabinetmakers haven't even descended from the trees yet. The best thing about it at the moment is the practical jokes. A couple of days ago Steve and Robbo were both working on a door and Robbo's head was fairly well aligned with Steve's arse. I could see him adjusting his aim out of the corner of his eye. I heard it through earmuffs. By the time I turned around Robbo was clawing for oxygen and Steve was a marked man. About half an hour later Steve went over to his trolley to get some tools and as he opened the drawer on his toolbox there was a violent bang and Steve disappeared in a white mushroom cloud about four metres high. It turned out the electricians had filled four feet of two inch foam pipe with talcum powder, jammed an air hose into it and fed the whole lot into the back of Steve's toolbox. When they plugged in the hose a hundred pounds of air pressure hit a shitload of baby powder. It was priceless. Normally when I'm at work I read the paper during lunch and I don't get the chance to keep anything out of it. So I'm going to use this journal to remind myself of some of the more interesting things I read each week. 1) 'You want to worship who?' - A British Navy seaman has officially asked his superiors for the right to worship Satan whilst at sea. Apparently these religious requests are accompanied by a good deal of tradition, one of which is that the request has to be made formally, in front of the entire crew of the ship :) Just on a tangent I'd like to say that the official Church of Satan, founded by Anton LeVay, is the most logical and harmless religion I've ever come across. Go figure. 2) 'Diggers' - Animal activists in the UK have been targeting a farm that supplies guinea pigs for medical research for some years. The farm used to have a dairy as well but the activists closed that down by conducting campaigns against the companies that bought the milk. They even targeted the local pub for allowing the farmer to drink there. After eighteen months of protests, broken windows and firebombs the pub asked the farmer not to come back. The latest shot in the war has upped the ante considerably. The activists have kidnapped the farmer's grandmother... who has been dead for seven years! The farmer is understandably upset at the thought of what humiliations the kidnappers might subject his grandmother's corpse to. Not the least of which would have to be starring in the next 'Weekend at Bernie's' movie ;) 2 votes| Vote

Test Post #2 [12 Oct 2004|09:22pm] [ mood | sleepy ] Tania here. Just prodding the settings... man oh man, I'd forgotten how much it sucks to not be a paid user. >_< I can't even find a decent-looking layout that will display a usericon on the main page with every entry. Oyy. At least the userinfo page is done. Woot. ^_^ R is gonna update this thing tomorrow. Right now, we're hittin' the sack! ~Tan 1 vote| Vote

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